The Power

Ladies, we are a powerful gender. We are smart, beautiful, talented, spiritual, all rolled into one sweet, caring and loving package. But I fear that sometimes we do not appreciate our strength. We all have abilities that, I believe, have been relatively unexplored by many of the women here in Rexburg. I think the majority of us here do not realize the power that we as women possess. And one of the most awesome powers in our possession is the power to say no.

I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it, we have a right to be picky. We have a right to choose for ourselves someone who is going to add happiness to our lives. But when I’ve said this before I’m afraid too many women have overlooked the most important word: “choose”. We all have our agency, the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and to act for ourselves. So why are there so many times when we forsake what we want in order to make someone else happy? This is where our power comes into effect. Sometimes ladies, you can say no.

Imagine this, if you will: You have been spending time with a wonderful young man for the last few weeks and have really been enjoying each other’s company. Your first few dates were awesome and they were all activities you both enjoyed doing. The next weekend rolls around and he asks you out again. You ask what the activity is going to be and he tells you he wants to take you to see “The Roommate”. Only one problem, you hate scary movies. So what do you do? How many of us would say, “Awesome! See you at 7”? Be honest, you would wouldn’t you. I think a lot of us would put up with 2 hours of nightmare inducing theater just to spend some time with a guy we liked.

What would happen if you said no? What would this charming, wonderful guy you’ve been dating for the last few weeks do if you told him you hated scary movies and suggested you see something else instead? Would he just immediately write you off as a loser and delete your number from his contacts? I don’t think so. In all honesty, he’d probably be okay with it. Most men are open to the idea of compromise if they really like the girl. And trust me, if he’s spent these last few weeks asking you out, spending time and money on you, chances are he likes you. So what are we so afraid of?

Herein lies the problem. We are neglecting our most awesome power because we are scared of saying no. We are scared that if we say no to “The Roommate” our guy will just move on to the next available girl who does like scary movies and we’ll be out a date for Friday night. I understand the fear, and I’m not saying it isn’t justified, but I can go back to what I’ve been saying all along, if he doesn’t make you happy then he isn’t worth your time. If a guy isn’t willing to change his plans because something makes you uncomfortable then he doesn’t respect you, and if he doesn’t respect you then he isn’t worth your energy.

These guys have it far too easy. Most men in Rexburg don’t have to work and make sacrifices to get a date every weekend. (Before all the men get up in arms, I am not referring to all of you. I know there are good guys in Rexburg and I appreciate you, whoever you are.) The girls here will hand them their numbers on a silver platter with a side of French fries and then we will patiently sit by the phone waiting for him to give up a moment in his busy schedule to give us a call. Shame on us. Where is the power? Where is the respect for ourselves? Where are our standards? For too long we have neglected the strengths we have because we have been too afraid of being alone. I don’t want us to be afraid anymore. I want us all to stand up and be proud of who we are as women in this day and age. We are something pretty special.

Be strong ladies. Stand up for yourselves. Let him know when something makes you unhappy. You have the power to make your life better. And don’t you think you deserve it?